If it is determined to be bullshit (and this is often clear: food mentioned in the review that is not served at that restaurant, descriptions of service completely uncharacteristic of the particular server, exaggerated wait times referenced that were impossible based the night's volume, and any other obvious made up digs to sully the name of the establishment because lying on the internet is A-OK, even if it might cost someone their livelihood.) And yes, they remember you. They remember what you ordered, where you sat, and they remember the disgruntled look on your face.
If you are sitting in a new restaurant, and you get the itch to bring them to their knees with your Trip-Adviser clout (I'm looking at you, Frank G. - if that's even your real name), please go through this list to make sure that you have done the right thing. I know you get a high from blasting people on Yelp!, but these are real people with real families, and this list might just save you from being an ignorant asshole.
5. You Lied to the Staff
"How is everything?" "Do you need anything else?" "Is there anything else I can help you with today?" "Would you like a Booth or a Table?"Not empty wind expelled for your server's health. They are trying to determine how to best meet your needs. This blog focuses on Charleston, SC, a city known for it's friendliness and helpfulness. Take advantage of it. Tell the server what you want. You are paying for the experience, and they expect you to have a preference. If your server asks you if you need anything else, and you say 'no' you have forfeited your right to rush home and compose a Shakespearean sonnet on the absence of ketchup from your plate. If the host asks you if a table is OK, and you say 'yes' then spend the entire meal with the sun in your eyes, that is on you. Do not lie to their faces when they ask if everything is OK, just so you can complain about it later. That is rotten.
Speaking of lying, do not say you are allergic to something just because you do not like it. Did you know that when there is someone in the dining room with an allergy, they have to break everything down and re-clean everything before preparing your food (which they are happy to do for a legitimate allergy). You know that party of 12 that got there right before you? Yeah, they are not getting their food on time because you are a lying jerk.
4. You Ordered Food You Knew You Wouldn't Like
Know the concept of a restaurant before you walk through the door. You would not believe how common it is to see a review that starts "I don't like Indian food, so this Indian place is bad to me." No shit? I can't stand bar and grill restaurants with drink specials on all the beers you only drink in college and over-exposed pictures of 30 frozen and reheated crappetizers on their ugly, over-crowded menus, so I don't go to those places. And I damned sure have never written a negative review of one. It is not my thing. I know I don't like it. But It is not my place to deny that to anyone if that's what they like. If you don't like seafood, don't go to a seafood restaurant, order something you can't eat, and then go home and complain about it on the internet. That was your fault. All you. |
| TGIF... If that's what you're into. |
4.5. You Were Not Aware of Regional Differences in Recipes
This is an extension of "Don't order food you don't like". There's the sugar/no sugar in cornbread debate that is waged in kitchens throughout the country. There's the consistency of soups problem that happens when visitors from New England try our Low-Country She-Crab Soup and are expecting something like their Lobster Bisques and Clam Chowders. Also, as Charleston becomes a more cosmopolitan destination, we are learning to ask "Sweet or unsweet?" when you say "Iced tea", but please cut us some slack - the stuff was probably invented here, and it is pretty hard to break a 200 year old habit.
These are conversation starters about food and culture, doorways to new friendships and new understandings of food, NOT fodder for you online vent-fests.
3. You Showed Up on a Busy Night Without a Reservation and Expected to be Seated Right Away
Complaining in a review that a restaurant is busy is the most idiotic thing I regularly see on review sites. If they are busy, they are popular. Just because you scheduled a busy night, and did not think to make reservations. gives you no right to write a negative review. |
| Tourists waiting to get into Hyman's - You don't want to be late. |
2. You Didn't Actually Eat There
If you write a review of a restaurant, and you didn't actually eat there, the restaurant can report the review, and Trip-Advisor or Yelp! or whoever will remove your review. Just because you are mad that there is a 45 minute wait and you storm off to Denny's, you can't blast the restaurant online because they were busy. You have to sit down and have a meal to give a true restaurant review. It's a jerk move anyway. It's the kind of thing immature disgruntled ex-employees do. Don't be that person. |
| "Yeah - we'd like a table for 12 in your Family restaurant, we intend to maintain at least this volume for about three hours. No, we don't want any food, just all of your beer. We are pre-gaming." |
1. You Didn't Ask for a Manager.
I know...
But, seriously, talk to the manager. You are not this entitled person in this meme. There is no reason to be rude or angry. You are just asking for help. This is number one on the list because it is the most obvious. Please give these people a chance to make it right. Especially if you are at some locally owned, family business. These people love what they do, and they love good food. Give them a chance.
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